Let's talk sleepovers and type 1 diabetes! Things to consider, what to pack, how much education to provide and how to deal. My daughter, Sarah, has successfully made it through 4 recent sleepovers, not including several with her grandparents. Listen in to these tips and tricks to make your T1D's next sleepover a success!
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This is episode 65 of the sugar mamas podcast. And today we are talking about sleepovers. There is no guests for today. It's just me. But in the past two months, Sarah has been to four birthday parties, sleepovers, and I thought this would be a good topic to cover, but before we get started, let's do our. You're listening to the sugar mamas podcast, a show designed for moms and caregivers of type one diabetics here. You'll find a community of like-minded people who are striving daily to keep their kids safe, happy, and healthy in the ever-changing world of type one. I'm your host and fellow T one D mom, Katie Roseboro. Before we get started. I need you to know that nothing you hear on the sugar mamas podcast should be considered medical advice. Please be safe, be smart, and always consult your physician before making changes to the way you manage type one diabetes. Thanks. Okay guys, let's go. Let's go. We're going to talk about sleepovers which I know is something that gives many, many parents, a lot of anxiety, myself included. It is not an easy thing to let your type one kiddo go and spend the night at somebody else's house. So you may even be asking yourself, why would I even consider letting my type one kid go to a sleep over? Well, I absolutely think it's important to at least consider it. I think that it builds confidence. It lets them know that they can be away from home for a night and be okay. it lets them know that you are okay. Entertaining the idea of them being away from home and managing things without you. And I think it gives them an opportunity to make decisions on their own and practice a little bit of self-management and when they come through it successful. It just builds a little bit more confidence and over time that confidence will add up to a lot of empowered independence. Plus it's preparing them for the future. Whether you want to admit it or not. Our job as parents is to prepare our kids to one day, leave the nest. I love this quote from an unknown author that says to raise a child who is comfortable enough to leave you means you've done your job. They are not ours to keep, but to teach how to soar on their. I think allowing your child to go to a sleepover also helps you get over your own fear of trusting others with your type one diabetic. I think the inner dialogue of you telling yourself that. There's no way anybody else could possibly be trusted to care for your T one D is just frankly, not true seconds. Before our children were diagnosed with type one diabetes. We knew nothing about managing this chronic illness. We ourselves probably would have been labeled as people who could not be trusted to care for a type one diabetic. And then our kids got diagnosed and our world got turned upside down and here we are. Killing it in our role of being a full-time pancreas that we never thought we would get to perform. I truly believe that if it's somebody that you know, and trust, even if they don't know the first thing about type one management, they can be taught how to help and care for your child. It just takes a little bit of education and a leap of faith on your behalf. Another reason why I think we should allow our children to go to sleepovers. Is because they're fun, plain and simple. Think back to when you were a kid and some of the sleepovers that you attended. I mean, those are some of my greatest memories of my childhood, the silliness, the late night shenanigans and yes, even the junk food. And I think our type one diabetics can be a part of all of them. If you've listened to episode 53 of the podcast, that was the first episode in the series for parents of T one D teens. My guest was Maura McCarthy and my very favorite quote. And my very favorite takeaway from that episode is Morris said that when we are making decisions for our T1, we need to ask ourselves what would the answer be if diabetes wasn't in the picture? So if my child is asking to go to a sleepover, I need to ask myself, what would I say if they did not have type one diabetes, would I say yes. And if yes would be the answer without diabetes, then yes. Needs to be the answer with diabetes. It's just going to take a little bit more work to figure it out. Okay. How do I know if my T one D is even ready for a sleepover? Well, first of all, do they even want to go? Some kids have no interest in spending the night away from their home. Sarah used to be this way in fact, up until very, very recently, she would get very nervous and very anxious about spending the night away from home. So, no, I don't think she was ready and I didn't want to try it and then have to pick her up at three o'clock in the morning. I definitely think this is something that you have to take on a case by case basis. Some questions to ask yourself are, you know, how old are they? Is it even really appropriate that they're going to asleep over in the first place? You know, I would say if they are. You know, under the age of, I don't know, I guess for me personally, if my child was under the age of eight, I would not allow them to spend the night at anybody's home, unless it was like a, a family member, maybe an aunt or an uncle or a grandparent that lived in town. Or possibly a friend who has been in our lives forever, that I consider family. We have many of those and ask yourself, what is my kid's personality? Like, are they timid and scared is sending them off to a birthday party sleepover. Maybe not the best thing for them at this point in time. Or are they the type of kid that is happy, go lucky and energetic in any situation? So whether or not they kind of have social anxieties would definitely play a factor into that. You know, maybe instead of them sleeping over. If you knew that your child might get a little homesick would be just to let them go to the party and then pick them up before they went to bed later in the night. I think another good question to ask yourself is, does your child show concern for when their numbers are low or high? If there's no sense of urgency when they have a low blood sugar, then maybe you need to wait a little bit before letting them sleep over at a friend's house. Unless of course, like I said before, it's a really close family member that you can call at all hours of the night or all hours of the day and that you trust wholeheartedly. Let's talk a little bit about who you can trust. This is obviously different for each and every one of us, we all have different comfort levels of who we trust and who we don't for me. I can only answer for myself. So I will tell you that for me, I trust grandparents. We are very fortunate to have all of our grandparents in. So it's a very real possibility that Sarah would be spending the night at their house. They are very close in proximity to our house. So if I needed to get over there quickly, I could, my sister also lives in town and her daughter. My niece is one of Sarah's very best friends. I would trust Sarah to go over there and see. I would trust very close friends, people that I know very well, people that I consider framily, you know, friends that are family. And I would definitely consider trusting other type one families. My comfort level would definitely be a lot higher. If the parents also were dealing with type one diabetes on a 24, 7 basis. But again, that's not a question I can answer for you. You really have to ask yourself what you're comfortable with and who you trust. It's probably also a good idea to take into consideration the proximity of their house to you. You know, how far away are you comfortable with your type one? Diabetic being is 10 minutes. The maximum distance. 20 minutes, 30 minutes an hour. You have to decide what the cutoff is going to be. If you needed to get over there quickly, which chances of you having to do that are very, very slim. Or if your T one D calls you in the middle of the night and wants to come home, how far are you willing to drive at three o'clock in the morning? Something you might want to consider doing before birthday party sleepovers even come up is maybe have a few tests sleepovers with one other kid, you know, before you get to the bigger, more chaotic party sleep. At the beginning of this school year, you know, the whole summer had gone by and the only people Sarah had spent the night with were grandparents, really? Because she just was the type of kid who she's kind of a home body. She gets homesick very easily. So up until that point, I don't think she really had a big desire to spend the night at other people's houses or she would think she would, and then she'd get there and nighttime would come and she would get scared and I would have to go pick her up. But at the beginning of last school year, I reached out to a few of our very closest friends. And I said, Hey, thinking ahead to the future, maybe next summer, we'll give it a whole year for Sarah to grow up a little bit and mature a little. But next summer, I might want to do some like sleep-over test runs if you'd be okay with that. You know, I really want to build Sarah's confidence up in having sleepovers with people and spending the night away from home and away from me. Would you be willing to let her spend the night at your house? Just so we can kind of have a test. And at that time it was three different people that I had reached out to and they were all like, absolutely, of course. We can do that. Let's give it a try. I'm willing to help you out. So you might want to consider that now, Sarah kind of grew out of her sleep over anxiety faster than I was anticipating. And like I said, within the past two months, she was invited to four different birthday parties, sleepovers, or four different sleepovers. And she. Like didn't even bat an eyelash. She was like, I want to go, I want to do it. So I wasn't even able to have those test sleepovers, but all of the people's house that she went to, I, I knew well and I trusted and felt comfortable with, so she beat me to it. So let's talk about how much the host, parent or parents need to know about type one diabetes. This can be tricky because we don't want to scare the living daylights out of them. We don't want to annoy them. We want to increase the chances that they would invite our child to sleep over at their house. Again. But we also want to make sure our kiddo is safe and well cared for personally. I want to take the burden off of the host parents as much as humanly possible. What I have told them in Sarah's 10, by the way, in case anybody was forgot how old she is at this point in time, she is 10 and she's in fourth grade. But what I have told the host parents is I will only communicate with you if I can not get in touch with Sarah or in an emergency, obviously I make sure I have their phone number. I make sure they have my phone number. with that being said, I do set some very clear rules and boundaries for Sarah. My two main rules for when she went to these sleepovers was that she had to wear her smartwatch at all times because her smartwatch shows her, her blood sugar numbers. Um, it alerts her when she's going low and she can also see. W she can see when texts and phone calls are coming in for me. And she can respond from her smartwatch to those texts. Uh, Sarah wears a very affordable smartwatch. It's a Fitbit versa too. And with that we use, we had to download the Clance watch face. If you want to know more about that, you're welcome to reach out on Instagram at sugar mommas podcast, Or you can email me it's sugar mamas firstname.lastname@example.org. So I know the reason why I give those two rules is because I know that. hazard watch on at all times that she there's really no excuse for her not to be seeing the texts that are coming in for me or not to get alerted when her blood sugar is low. Now it does require that her phone be within a certain range of her watch. And of course the Dexcom, but her phone is always packed inside her diabetes. Go bag along with her other type one supplies and some low treats. So if I text Sarah, she's not responding to me within a reasonable amount of time then, and only then will I call or text the host parent? And then of course I will call them if there's an emergency. Like if Sarah, his blood sugar is getting too low or it's falling too fast, or it's the middle of the night and a low needs to be treated. I only had to do that once in these past sleepovers. So that was good. It was actually with a, another family who had a type one diabetic child. So I knew they would absolutely understand me calling them at two 30 in the morning. And they were more than willing to shove a juice box in Sarah's face and everything was fine. Okay. So while we're on the topic of communicating with your kid, while they're at a sleepover or communicating with the parents, the host parents, let's talk about expectations. Oh, wait a minute. I think we need to back up a little bit because I never really covered what I think the host parent needs to know about type one diabetes. I would say they need to know the basics, right? if your kid is going to be eating foods that have carbohydrates in them, which let's be honest at a birthday party, that's all of the foods. Then they need to be taking insulin for it. I would want them to know the basics of like the signs and symptoms of a low blood sugar. I would definitely want them to know how to use Sarah's glucagon and where she keeps it. I have sent people pictures of what Sarah's glucagon looks like. I have sent them pictures of where the glucagon is in her diabetes kit. And then Sarah, carries the. Nasal spray back Simi. And on the back Simi website, there is a, I believe it's only a minute long. There is a one minute video that very quickly and easily explains how to use back Simi in the event of an emergency. So I always text the parents. And for that matter, like Sarah's teachers or anybody else that she's going to be with without me, I text them the link to that in a, you know, of course I say, we have never had to use this. I'm hoping we never have to, but I do want you to be aware of this is how it works, you know, in the event of a, of her blood sugar, getting too low, that she's unable to swallow juice or any other form of glucose. So you might, if your child is on a pump, you might want to give them a mini education on how to operate the pump. I personally, probably wouldn't bother with trying to teach them how to like suspend insulin or do attempt Bazell that that's probably just a little bit more information than they need to know, but you might want to educate them on how to just give a, a bolus in case it's the middle of the night and your kid is running really, really high. So high that you feel like it might be dangerous for them. That way they could sneak in and give a correction for a high blood sugar, if you really felt they needed to. And of course, let the parents know, reassure them often and frequently that they absolutely can call you if they need. So this actually came up at the last sleep over that Sarah went to, which she had a fabulous time. So in that sense, it went great, but it was definitely like the nastiest of the blood sugar sleepovers that we experienced. Um, everything was really okay up until she went to bed. And then there was a little bit of a panic moment. I think she just got a little anxious and, and had more glucose than she needed to have. And so then her blood sugar was like, Pretty high. It was like around 300 for the rest of the night, which I did not love at all. Um, this particular sleepover, it was with a family that we know and trust the mom is a nurse. But I never went over with the mom, how to operate her pump to give her some insulin. Should she need to, like, if Sarah's blood sugar was running high and at this point in time, it's like two o'clock in the morning. I don't know about your kids, but Sarah is extremely hard to wake up in the middle of the night. And I just knew that trying to wake her up or having the parent wake her up in the middle of the night to try to fumble with. Pump hand administer insulin when she's so sleepy and groggy was probably gonna wake everybody else up. I don't, I don't know. I just, I let it go for the rest of the night. So I just. I just set my expert expectations at a reasonable level. And I was like, we're going to let this go and deal with it when she wakes up in the morning. But I, I was thinking to myself, gosh, I really wish I had just very briefly gone over with this parent, how to give insulin, you know, maybe even done like, uh, you could even take a recording of how to give a simple bolus with your own phone and then text them the video. Say they would have that video to go back and watch. So something to think about. I would also just let the parents know that reassure them, that they can absolutely call you at any hour of the day or night with any concern or question at all. No matter how seemingly small, just reassure them that please don't hesitate to call if you need me or you want to. Let's talk about the checklist of things to bring and do beforehand. Okay. You may not agree with this. But that's okay. We don't have to agree on every single thing, but I'm just telling you kind of like our checklist of things that we would do and bring, um, your comfort level may be different than mine, but these are certainly things to consider. I turn off Sarah's high alarm, but I keep my high alarm on. I just really don't want Sarah to be, I want to minimize the alarms that Sarah's having to deal with while she's at a sleep over. And if I have to choose one, then I'm going to keep the most important, which is the lowest. You might want to consider adjusting their low alarm and your low alarm. So you have a little bit more of a warning, a little bit more of a buffer. So normally if you have their low alarm set at 70, you might want to consider bumping it up to 80 or 90, just so you get that alert a little sooner and can treat the low blood sugar a little sooner. And that's really just to give you some peace of mind and give you a little bit more time before, you know, blood sugars get too low, especially if, you know, if it's a energetic party and people just aren't paying attention as much as they may be. Should. You might want to consider changing their insulin to carb ratios and basil rates or Bazell doses slightly. And I emphasize the word slightly, and this is absolutely something that you can and should talk to your endocrinologist about, but, you know, you might want to consider making some small changes, especially if you know, there's going to be a lot of junk food and we all know that there's going to be a lot of junk food at a sleepover. so if your kid's insulin to carb ratio is like one to 10, you know, maybe consider taking it down to one to nine because you know, they're not going to be pre bolusing, like they should at a sleepover and that might help on the front end. If they get 10 units of their long acting insulin every night, you know, you might want to talk to the endocrinologist about, Hey, for this one night for this 1 24 hour period, we were thinking about going up to 11, what do you think? Or again, you could adjust their basal rates if they're on a pump. So they're getting a little bit more insulin every hour than they normally would. We did not do this for any of Sarah sleepovers. And I kind of wish we had. So speaking of long acting insulin, depending on what time the party starts, you might, if your kid is on injections or MDI, you probably should consider doing the basal insulin before you drop them off. You know, if they get their usual, long acting dose at night at eight o'clock, but the party starts at five. You know, you might want to give it to them a little early that night. Again, you can run that by the endocrinologist to make sure that's okay. Sarah usually did get her long acting insulin around eight o'clock. But there were a few times where I knew that we were going to be busy around eight o'clock every night. Like maybe we were going to be at the baseball field, watching her brothers play baseball or whatever the case may be. So there were a few times where I gave it a few hours early and everything was fine. And then we didn't have to deal with it later when we were really busy and not wanting to take the second to stop. You know, doing it a little earlier before you drop them off, that's just one less thing that they have to worry about and think about. It's one less thing that the host parent has to worry about and think about just making life a little easier for everybody. Okay. Things to make sure to pass. Definitely pack their favorite stuffed animal or their comforts. Like if they have a favorite blankie look, Sarah's 10 years old and she still has a giant pink stuffed dog named Wolfie that she pretty much takes everywhere. She goes. So Wolfie has always packed in the sleep over bag. There was two of the over Sarah was like, I don't think I'm going to bring Wolfie. And I was like, I'm going to shove Wolfie at the bottom of your bag, just in case because Sarah has been known to get somewhere and realize she forgot Wolfie and, decide that she is not okay with that. So I would pack whatever, you know, creature comforts they have, especially when they're sleeping in. Definitely pack their phone and their phone charger. for Sarah, I made sure to pack or made sure she was walking out the door with her smart watch that was fully charged on her wrist. I made sure she had plenty of low treats. I sent her with a whole bag of Skittles and an entire brick of those small apple and Eve juice boxes. She did not need any of the juice boxes at any of the sleepovers. I think we treated almost all the lows, except for that one low at night with just a few Skittles, make sure they have their type one supplies, of course their insulin, and a way to deliver the insulin, maybe pack a few extra infusion sets or Omni pods, just in case there's the chance of a pump failure. You know, that's another thing to consider. Is, can your kid change their infusion set or their pump on their own? I usually help Sarah with her pump changes, but I know that she can do it on her own because I've had to talk her through it over the phone. So if your child cannot handle that and they are on a pump, then that is something I would want to go over with the parent as well, how to change an infusion set or a pump site if needed, and you know what? You don't even need to like send that to them ahead of time. Cause that's probably. Going to freak them out a little bit, but maybe have a video ready, like video yourself and you and your kid doing a pump change or a site change and just have it on hand saved in your camera roll where if that even comes up, you have that video to send to them and be like, okay, you, you know, get on the phone with them, send them the video and just step-by-step walk them through it. And you know, of course, if they're five or 10 minutes down the road than if it were me, I'd probably just hop in the car right over there. Do the pump, change with them and then come back home.
Hey everybody. It's Katie. And if it sounds like I'm whispering that's because I am it's early in the morning here and my family is still sleeping, but I just wanted to take a quick second to thank all of the listeners who have supported the show either by writing a review online or on the platform where you listen to podcast or through buy me a coffee, buy me a coffee is a no strings attached. To support the show. Every cent donated through buy me a coffee, goes to making this podcast come to life each and every week, it helps support the virtual space and platforms that are required for recording, editing, and producing this show. Our last buy me a coffee supporter who donated anonymously, said my teenager was diagnosed. On January 1st, your podcast has been a lifesaver. Thank you for the wonderful advice and answering questions. I didn't realize I had. Wow. What a sweet note. Thank you so much. You guys are the best and it's little notes like this and little words of encouragement that keep me going. If you'd be willing to support this. By donating through, buy me a coffee, check out the link in the show notes. I'll also leave a link to where you can easily click and write a review for the show. Leaving a positive review of the podcast helps other people find it, which means I can reach and encourage and empower and equip more type one families like yours. All right, let's get back to the show and my chat on sleepovers and type one diabetes.Katie:
I would definitely pack your kid with a water bottle. I think staying hydrated during a birthday party or any. Event where there's going to be a lot more food, especially junk food than normal. I would want to make sure they're very hydrated. So push lots and lots of water or carb free beverages the day before the party, before they leave for the party and then send them off with a water bottle and tell them you want them to drink it, all before they go to bed that night, you also might want to consider. Sending them with some zero carb drinks for themselves, or maybe some powdered drink packets, like some crystal lights, something that they could dump into a water bottle or dump into a cup of water. If they're going out to a restaurant to celebrate somebody's birthday, so we are not a low carb family, but sugary drinks are something that I do try to stay away from. Most of the time, we certainly make exceptions for, you know, dinners out. if she really wants some regular lemonade or something like that. we've definitely had a couple of slushies at the baseball field, watching the brothers play one of their games. So it's not a no always for us, but it is something that I try to avoid I just feel like, you know, while you can bolus for a sugary drink, it's just a, it's just hard to do that. And if they're chugging sugary drinks left and right at a birthday party sleepover, I feel like that can get out of hand very quickly. So send them with. That they feel comfortable with, throw a few Gatorade zeros into their sleep, over bag, have them put them in the fridge when they arrive. Um, if you know the family really well and they're close, you might even want to drop some off of their home beforehand. just so your kid's not the odd man now pulling drinks out of their duffel bag in the middle of the party. Okay. I think that covers the list of. Things to pack and bring, let's talk a little bit about sleeping arrangements. So this isn't something that dawned on me until I dropped Sarah off at her first birthday party sleepover, but I started thinking, oh my gosh, she really needs to be sleeping like on the edge of the crowd. Because that way, if the host parent has to get up in the middle of the night to help her, for whatever reason, she's not. In the middle of all the kids in this poor parent is having to climb over and stumble over all these other children to get to. So talk to the parent about that. Hey, I really, I already told, you know, I already told my kid this, but I want them sleeping on the edge of the group. so you can get to them easily if you need to. they also probably need to be positioned pretty close to a wall outlet so they can plug their phone in. That's not that hard to do. Most rooms have plenty of electrical outlets. And I would suggest to the parent or to your kid, you know, just have a juice box ready, put the straw in the juice box, keep it in the fridge, or even keep it next to you wherever you're sleeping. And that way your child or the host parent is not having to fumble with a juice box in the middle of the night. Listen, you would think that putting a straw and a juice box would be an easy thing to do, but when you're tired and groggy and it's one o'clock in the morning, it's real hard to get a straw open and put it in a juice box. So I think that's just going the extra mile, taking a little bit of extra step, have a juice box, ready to go in the fridge or somewhere close by. Okay. Next on the list of things to discuss is a checklist to go over before they go to So is their phone plugged in and is it charging? Sometimes we plug Sarah's phone in and like the little lightning bolt thing doesn't show up. So I always tell Sarah to double check to make sure that. Jammed the charger in there far enough. And so it's not actually charging. So make sure their phone is plugged in and charging. Make sure the volume on their phone is all the way up. Make sure the volume on the host parents' phone is all the way up and make sure the volume on your phone is all the way up in that you're getting notifications, from your. I think they, before they go to bed, I already touched on this, but I would have them drink some water. I mean, don't be crazy about it. You certainly don't want them to have to be getting up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, but you know, kind of check in like, have you had enough water today? I want you to drink a cup of water before you go to bed. I am a firm believer that if you're well-hydrated, your insulin works much better. So. Make sure they've been sipping on some water. Okay. Let's talk about when you pick them up in the morning. When you pick them up in the morning after a sleep over use all the willpower and the self-control that you can muster from your inner core and do not say one word about diabetes management. I would say for at least an hour of them getting home and kind of decompressing after the party chances are that their numbers were probably not where you would prefer them to be over the past 24 hours, but that's okay. And we're going to talk about expectations here in just a minute, but try, try not to immediately dive into questions about their diabetes. Again, think about what you would ask them or what you would talk about. If type one diabetes wasn't in the picture, you know, ask them what games they played. Did they watch a movie? Did they like the movie? How late did they stay up? What silly things did they talk about? Ask them all the fun sleepover questions that you would normally ask if type one wasn't in the picture. Of course, while you're doing this, you can secretly be making adjustments behind their back. I know that I was definitely punching some things into Sarah's PDM, which controls her Omnipod pump. once we got home, I would absolutely praise them. Give them all the praise. I'm so proud of you. You did such a great job. Thank you so much for answering all my texts. I think that written really well. I'm so glad you got to do that and have a fabulous time. You make me so proud, even if you have to dig deep to find something, to praise them on and compliment them on, make sure you praise them and you encourage them and remind them that. They can be successful even away from home and away from their parents. So let's talk a little bit about expectations. When you send your kid off to a sleep over again, this is all personal preference. I can not tell you what you should be comfortable with because everybody's comfort level is different, but. In my personal opinion. I think in the case of a sleepover, you need to lower your expectations. Do not expect perfection out of your child or out of their blood sugar values while they are at a sleep over. There is a very slim chance that they're going to stay in range the whole time or even half of the time. You know, only you can decide with what number you're comfortable with. But I would definitely say that for the time that they are away from you enjoying themselves at a party, It's okay for them to be out of range more than they normally would be. I felt like we had three very successful sleepovers where Sarah was in range. Most of the time, actually one of the sleepovers I dropped her off at was right after school. I don't remember exactly what happened that day at school, but they were having some sort of celebration. So treats were being passed out. Sarah did give herself insulin for it, which I was very proud of her for. she did not pre bolus for it. So that means that her number one, Definitely higher after she ate the food than I would have wanted it to be. But anyway, the point is that I picked her up from school. You know, her number is already way out of range and I'm supposed to immediately drop her off at this birthday party sleepover. She got in the car. We did a correction. I said attempt Bazell increase. So in other words, I did all the things I knew to do to get her number down. And I dropped her off at the party with her number, really high and out of range. I want to say it was like two 50. But off, she went at this particular party, they went and they got little manicures and pedicures. It was adorable. And a few hours later, by the time it was time to eat dinner, she was back in range and ready to go. So I communicated with the mom about what they were having for dinner. I believe it was Chick-fil-A that night. So I told her what Sarah usually eats. I texted Sarah and told her how much insulin to do and on and on, we went. Another one of the sleepovers was with my, at my sister's house. So it was Sarah's aunt. And I believe I mentioned before that. Um, my sister's daughter, one of my sister's daughters is Sarah's age and Sarah and, and my niece are just best friends for life. And so I, I mean, I don't even know that what I said to my sister, I was, I was probably just like, I'll text, you have a good time. and she was probably like, sounds good. You know? And she had texted me the day before and said, let me know what I need to know. For Sarah and for diabetes and stuff. And I texted back and I said, honestly, it's just easier if we do. Text as it's going on. Because if I tell you one thing now about how to handle it, it could be a totally different answer tomorrow when it's actually time to cut the cake or sit down for dinner. Cause there's just so many factors that you have to take into consideration when you're. Bolusing for meals that I can't tell you what to do now, 24 hours before the party. Because that's going to change based on, several different factors. So we might as well wait, and she was fine with that. Another one of the sleepovers was actually just one, one friend. It wasn't a party. It was just a, just a regular old sleepover. And this was one of her very best diet buddies. So another young lady with type one diabetes, I knew the mom well, really loved the family, trusted them. No question. And again, I'm, you know, it was kinda one of those things like with my sisters, like, I'll text you if I need to. And she was like, sounds good. And, and off Sarah went, the other sleepover was probably the hardest one for. Me to drop Sarah or to let Sarah go to. Cause it was very long. It was like an N it was like an entire 24 hours. First. There was like a party at a, you know, a location where they were doing like these craftings crafting things. And then the parents transported the girls home from there and they fed them dinner. Um, they didn't end up swimming, but there was a chance that they were going to be swimming at one point in time, which I had told Sarah, Hey, if you guys do go to the pool, I want you to turn your insulin on. While you're swimming. So I told her to do a 100% tent Faisal decrease, right before they left to go to the pool, and to just do it for two hours. And if they didn't swim for that long to, um, cancel the 10 Bazell when they got out of the pool, they didn't end up swimming. So I didn't have to worry about that. I did also tell the mom, please let me know if you go to the pool so I can remind Sarah to turn her insulin. never had to deal with that, but I was mentally prepared if that was the case. But this particular sleepover was an hour away from our house. Meant about an hour to 50 minutes away. And Sarah had to sleep over at this girl's house a year prior. so she had been diagnosed with type one at that point in time and it just did not, it just did not go well. I had to end up going to get Sarah at like midnight. so luckily this was the last of the birthday party sleepovers. So I knew that she had already made it through three other ones, without much issues. And so I was like, okay, if you really want to go. I'm okay with it. Like, I know it's farther away, but this, this mom is a nurse. We know this family. They're very sweet. We trust them. I feel like there's a pretty good chance that I'm not going to have to come and get you and drive almost an hour to come and get you. If you decide that you can't make it through the night. Well, everything was going great until it came time for bed and I not really sure what happened or what triggered it, but Sarah laid down and I think she just started getting really worried. Maybe she was remembering last year when I had to come pick her up. I'm not sure, but her stomach started hurting. And I think she just got a little panicky. So she called me at like 1230. So, you know, 12:30 AM. from the bathroom crying, mommy, my tummy hurts. I can't sleep. And, and she had actually called me like 30 minutes before. Cause that's another thing I do tell her to check in with me before she goes to bed. So whether that's a text, you know, Hey mom, we're getting ready to go to sleep. Is there anything I need to do? Or just to call me, Hey mom, we're getting ready to go to sleep. Is there anything I need to do? So she had called me at midnight and told me that they were getting ready to go to sleep. And I was like, okay. I don't remember, but I think everything at that time was fine. no, I think I told her to do a temp basal decrease for a little bit, cause she was a little on the lower side, lower than I would have wanted her to be at a sleepover. so she did that. And then 30 minutes later, I get another call from her, from the bathroom. She's crying, her tummy hurts. Um, she can't sleep. And I said, well, sweetheart, you know, it's only been 30 minutes since she called me. Like, I don't think you've really given yourself much of a chance to fall asleep. Like let's, you know, have some water put your hair up. Cause she was also complaining that she was really hot. So I was like splash some cold water on your face, put your hair up in a ponytail. Like let's. Try this again. Um, and she was very upset, like very, it was hard to even understand what she was saying. Cause she, you know, she was kind of crying with that where you can barely get a word out. But, and y'all are probably gonna think I'm a horrible mom, but I flat out told her and I have already mentioned it, but I'm gonna say it again. Like her blood sugars were fine at this point in time. Like they were already starting to come up from the tent Bazell that I had told her to do. but I just don't. I just flat out, told her, I said, honey, it's 1230 and it's going to take me almost an hour to get there. And then another hour to come home. and I didn't say this to Sarah. My boys and I, my husband and my two other boys, we were signed up to run a 5k the next morning for in honor of a friend of ours. Who's battling colon cancer. So, you know, in my head, I'm like, I have to be up at 6:00 AM to get everybody ready to go to this 5k. Like I'm not coming to get you, sweetheart. It's 1230. And if I can't get to bed until, you know, two 30 or three o'clock in the morning, that's not going to go over well. And so I just told her that I said, Sarah, I'm not coming to get you. I will stay on the phone with you. If you want to put the phone next to your head, I will, I will stay on the phone until you fall back asleep. I said, but sweetheart, you are fine. You know, the, your friend's mom. The, the host parent, she has her phone all the way turned up. I have my phone all the way turned up. We are not going to let anything happen to you, you know, everything's going to be okay. And she was, she was okay with that. I said, you call me back. If you need to, or I can stay on the phone and you can keep the phone next to your head. anyway, she had calmed down a little bit and she was willing to hang up and go, try to fall asleep again. And I didn't hear from her again until the morning. And when she, she didn't even text me or call me in the morning, she handled breakfast on her own, which I thought that was great handled her. I think her and the host mom figured out how much insulin she would need for breakfast. So she did that on her own. And, when I finally called her at like, when I was done with my 5k race and it was probably 10 o'clock in the morning, She was great. She felt, I said, how do you feel? Is your tummy still hurting? You she's like, no, it's fine. Now. I feel good now. And how has the party? It was so fun. Mommy. We had such a great time and she told me all about what they did. She made it, you know, uh, it was very, Tim husband was on the verge of getting up and driving down there to get her it. And it was tempting for me to go get her. Cause you know, it's hard to listen to your kid cry and be so distraught over the phone. But I was so proud of her and of course I told her that, and I think she was very proud of herself. and just, you know, one more experience to prove to her that she can. Confidently manage her diabetes when she's away from me. Was it perfect? Absolutely not. It was nowhere near perfect, but it was a learning opportunity where she could practice her own self care and making decisions on our own. I think you can't put a price on that. You know, another one of my favorite quotes that I see pop up on like social media all the time is, um, and I don't know who authored it, but it's, it's, you know, it's kind of along the lines of like, as hard as it is to do, we have to let our kids fail. And in this sense, I wouldn't even say Sarah failed, but she just wasn't near, kind of the standards that we have set for ourselves in terms of diabetes management. But we, we have to let our kids fail because it's the only way that they can truly learn how to succeed. So before we wrap up this episode on sleepovers and I hope these tips and stories have been helpful to you, give you some things to think about and consider before your kids go off to a sleep over. but I do want to say that there is no shame in using the diabetes card. Um, if you want to get your kid out of a sleep over, I have done it. You guys, I, Sarah has a friend. You know, a lot of Sarah's friends that she has at school. I just don't know all that well, cause it's not like our it's a charter school, so it's not like our local neighborhood school that she would be zoned for. So, you know, all that to say that the families that go to that school, they don't necessarily live really close to us. And I don't have a ton of opportunities to really interact with those parents. But, you know, there's been a couple times where Sarah has gotten invitations to come and have a sleep over with. A person in her class. And I just don't feel very comfortable doing that because I don't know these families, I just don't know them very well. I'm sure they're wonderful and great, but I don't know them. So there have been a few times where I've said. Thank you so much for inviting her. I know she would absolutely love this. You know, unfortunately we're pretty new with this whole diabetes thing. Sarah got diagnosed, now it's been a year and a half, but you know, however long ago and, you know, I'm just not ready to let her sleep over at your house at this point in time. I said, if you're comfortable with it, I'd love to have your child over to our house to spend the night. And sometimes the parents are fine with that. And some times, you know, they also realize like, oh, maybe I don't feel comfortable letting my kids spend the night at your house either. So there's that there is no shame in playing that card. If it's a family that you don't. No very well or feel very comfortable with, or just saying, no, thank you. You don't even have to give an explanation just being like, thank you so much for the invite, but at this time Sarah's not able to do that. You don't have to always explain yourself. But you know, that's a good example of more. Motto that I had mentioned at the beginning of the episode, ask yourself, what would my answer be if diabetes wasn't in the picture in that scenario, if Sarah did not have type one diabetes, I still wouldn't be comfortable with her spending the night at those people's houses that I didn't know very well and just wasn't ready to trust. So I think that's just a great question to do a little. Self reflection and self evaluation to know what your answer should be. I would love to continue this dialogue about sleepovers. If you have any other tips or tricks or suggestions, or just your overall thoughts on how you would manage sending your type one diabetic off to a sleep over, I'd love to hear it. You can message me on social media. On Facebook and Instagram, I am at sugar mamas podcast, or of course you can always email me sugar, mamas email@example.com. Okay. You guys, that is it for this episode until next time, stay calm and bolus on.